MET·RO·NOME

I am stood here again; gazing down at the side of the road where the grit and the black dirt collect. I picked something up the other day, it was shiny and familiar. It’s here in the pocket of my jeans. I can’t remember its name or its function.

Rain has started and the wind has picked up. A car passes closely followed by that airstream rush and spray. A deafening noise then and the feeling of being dragged violently underwater – bright blue and orange lights flash and disappear into a kaleidoscope blur.

Silent again, except for the birds singing, and the rain.

I can’t work out why I am here, though I have stood here a few times before, staring at the grit and the dirt by the side of the road. I can’t remember the before or the after but there are memories, sounds and smells slowly etching themselves together but I can’t work it out.

I fumble with the metal object in my pocket. The rain comes down harder now. There’s a deep cut into the soft grassy verge; it runs about 20 feet and then into the hawthorn hedgerow that shields the small wood.

I look up, surprised to see a sky pale blue, with soft shifting clouds and 6 swallows criss-crossing their courses across the Sussex heavens.

~~~~~~~~

By the bed a book left unread.

A pair of glasses

An Emma Bridgewater mug with ‘Dad’ written on it

The shed door open

 

The confused and frightened faces of two small children

And a beautiful woman sobbing gently

The gloaming moving through the rooms

A house emptied of home

 

Further Works

Slint – Good Morning, Captain

‘BOY,’ by Prasanna Puwanarajah

UP THE RING UCX: ROUTE

WHITE CHALK HILLS UP THE RING UCX - click through the image to the GPX download link.

WHITE CHALK HILLS UP THE RING UCX – click through the image to the GPX download link.

Grateful thanks to Jo Burt

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THE VANITY OF VANITIES: UCX UP THE RING

ucx_june13_poster_3

The usual White Chalk Hills UCX caveats apply.

Jo Burt writes:

We choose to do these things not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.

100 has become the default number for Hard, 100 miles on the road, 100 kilometres off-road, both a nice easy round number to remember and brag, a shorthand to impress, A Century represents something, which is why this edition of White Chalk Hills UCX is longer at 120km. Glorious.

The ride starts at the statue of St Cuthmann in Steyning, a man who knew something about futility as he spent a while carrying his mother about in a wheelbarrow. From here it’s not long before the ride strikes uphill. This will be the theme of the day with about 2,100 metres of climbing all in, if that sort of thing tickles your statistics.

Elevation Profile

Elevation Profile

You’re going to be taken up the ring twice; Cissbury and Chanctonbury, hill forts designed to be easy to defend and hard to attack, circles of trees, curious remarkable places clouded with history, myth, witchcraft and black dogs. But if you think being taken up the ring is going to hurt then you’d be wrong, they’re just climbs. It’s the bostals that are going to break you. Steep paths up the sharp face of the Downs that take the shortest quickest way to the top for pragmatic reasons – to drive sheep, farm machinery and at times tanks and artillery onto the hill. There’s half a dozen or so of them to surmount.

The route heads west of Steyning initially to breach both rings before looping back on itself to strike out east all the way across to Lewes which is where the bostals come into play, after which you turn into the wind for the long haul back to the pub that’s half a day and a few hundred metres from where you began. It’s a long flat sideways chewed sausage figure-of-eight ride, forced into that shape because of the lie of the land, the Downs being a 100 mile thin band of hills protecting Sussex from the sea, despite the Devil’s best attempts. Characterised by sloping gently to the south but with an acute north facing escarpment you’ll experience both styles of climb and descent, frequently, continually, over grass, chalk, flint, dirt, concrete and tarmac. Effort will be repaid several times over though with resounding stretches of quiet, vast expanses of sky the size of a skylark, and shady secret ways through the trees with dark secret pasts. Recover your energies by pausing in one of the many pubs that rest along the way, drink in the spirit of the hills that are trying to steal yours with a beer brewed in the shadow of the Downs; Truleigh Gold and Devil’s Dyke, hills and ales both, or a pull of Harveys that’s Sussex in a pint. As a rule these stops are always followed by an ascent of penance, or if you’ve had two pints, shame.

Photo Credit: Jo Burt

Photo Credit: Jo Burt

We choose to do these things not because they are worthwhile, but because they are futile, because that goal will serve to sap and waste the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are foolish to accept, one we would rather leave till later, and one which we intend to lose.

Poster image of Chanctonbury Ring courtesy of Gavin Peacock

Poster Design by Lois May-Miller

 

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AT THE DEVIL’S DOOR


Devil's Door

My bike, appropriately named Diablo – knock, knock, knocking…

Further Works

Cemetery Gates – The Smiths

The Devil in Sussex – Sussex Archaeology & Folklore 

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EPIPHANY

Shrouded

 

On a bicycle you are free to come to terms with your own irrelevance.

“I left in love, in laughter, and in truth and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.” Bill Hicks 

Further Works:

5IVE XIMES 0F DUST – COMPLETE COLLECTION 

 

 

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NOT AVAILABLE OFF THE INTERNET

“…one can almost smell the fertile soil being turned in the spring afternoon”

The 1066 UCX offered a slightly different kind of blue. A few shades lighter with added grey for that element of unknown. Sam designed a course which took you into the hidden depths of East Sussex – a tour over the diverse geology of the county. Not without its challenges; short sharp hills, rutted whapple ways, some squidgy woodland paths and the westerly headwind as the route turned back on the marshes to Eastbourne.

Courtesy of Philip Griffiths

Photograph: Philip Griffiths

From the Rape of Pevensey to the Rape of Hastings and back again: Hundreds and Boroughs; From Eastbourne, Willingdon, Pevensey Lowey, Foxearle, Netherfield, Henhurst, Staple, Battle, Ninfield, Bexhill and Pevensey back to Eastbourne – Marshes, woods, white chalk hills, swooping roads, follies, Castles, Priories, and an Abbey.

We left as a group and stayed as a group mainly. We rode hard, laughed, joked and waited patiently for those that had punctured. The sun shone warmer than expected.

The day not without incident of course, there was a moment in Darwell Wood but I refer back to the Devil Take Hindmost blog post: A Beginners Guide to Ultracross in particular the section ‘How to Stay on an Unmarked Course’. As Jo says the first rule of UCX – “don’t mention the Forest”

There was the man Andy who took a route over a barbed wire fence but managed to tangle his foot up and slicing the back of his leg in the process – I have since been informed that it was just a scratch. And the stolen stamp and Jelly Babies from the Wartling Hill check point. What sort of a monster steals Jelly Babies?

A glorious day of riding Ultracross followed by Vedett and other Belgian delights at the Belgian Café.

Photograph: Jo Burt

Photograph: Jo Burt

Vainglorious bastards: Jo, Nigel, Phil, David, Paul, Damien, Charlotte, Tim, Andy, David H-H and Simon – Thanks.

Special thanks to Sam and Lois and Jo.

Further Works

PLOUGHING IN NIVERNAIS – Rosa Bonheur 1850 

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DUSK ON THE SDW

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The long route home. Gusts whipping about the tumuli monuments.

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HARE COURSING

I am having a crisis of confidence 
Like the ground has been swept from under me 
I am being pursued by dogs. 
 
The east wind has lodged in my gut 
The skin around my lips is cracked and sore
 
I planted myself near the grass roots 
It was parochial 
Conservative
An aroma of polite misogyny about the old boys
Is this indicative of how it is?
 
               My non-conformist face really doesn’t fit – it never does
 
Maybe it’s just me?
I need a thicker skin and a sense of humour
 
               Perhaps I just haven’t earned it yet, baby


Further works:
There there - Radiohead 

GRRRR THAT’S WHAT TRADITION MEANS

I always thought it had something to do with the equinox that decides when the clocks spring forward or fall back – turns out that is not the case considering British Summer time begins on 31st of March this year.  Is it the pope that signs off the paperwork or what?

Route Card

The basic premise of Jo’s Happy 100 is that it is the first opportunity to complete a 100 mile ride in the daylight hours once the clocks have sprung forward – it happens to be nearish to the vernal equinox (which is worthy of a brief nod to rebirth and what the pagans call Ēostre and all that) and it is  on or near Jo’s Birthday, so there is always a big cake waiting at the café. CAKE.

Jo knows stuff about Sussex – it is good to know where Foret du Granges Vert will take you and that on the 24th March it would be virtually impassable on a road bike…it is necessary to know that Hammermen/Hammertwee will almost break you before lunch. Slaugham, …Strada Bianche della Gola, Asklimmen, Ashdown Muur, Plumpton Pavé – good luck finding these on Google Earth. 

Sugar puffs

This year, all frozen bones, frozen gear cables, frost bitten extremities and freezer burnt lungs.

There’s no t-shirt or medal for finishing – just stories and some laughs to share which seems…fair enough.

Jo, John, Dean, Paddy, Nick, James and Gavin ~ thanks.

Contrast with last year:

Morvélo – 100 Miles 100 Shots

 

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